Teddi Mellencamp is fighting not only for her life, but for her family’s future.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills alum—who is currently battling stage 4 cancer in her brain and lungs—recently got emotional detailing the toll her illness has had on her and estranged husband Edwin Arroyave‘s three kids Slate, 12, Cruz, 10 and Dove, 5.

“I’m like, ‘I don’t think you understand the debilitating pain that I feel some days thinking about the fact that…my kids,” the 43-year-old told ET in an April 17 interview before getting choked up over the thought of leaving her children without a mom. “That is extremely frightening. My kids are young.”

Teddi also detailed how multiple surgeries to remove the spreading tumors plus radiation and immunotherapy have impacted time as a family.

“I remember one day in the hospital I was like, ‘I feel like today might be Dove’s birthday,” the Two Ts in a Pod podcast co-host recounted. “And Edwin’s like, ‘It is. It’s her party today that you planned.’ I was like, ‘Can they please just let me out for today?'”